You see that thing people do and post on social media? The guy buys a ring and out of nowhere, goes down on one knee and asks the lady, “Would you marry me?” Yeah, that surprise proposal. I decided to do it too. Not because of social media but because I wanted to marry her for real.
We had dated for eight months and I’d seen the gold in her. I wanted to make her part of my life forever so I made plans with two of her best friends to pull the proposal off on her birthday.
The birthday party was also a surprise party. On that day, she expected more from me but in the morning, I sent her a message, thanking her for being part of my life and wishing to be with her until I was old and grey. She was grateful but she was waiting for the main dish.
Five of her friends and about six of my friends gathered at my friend’s house. I was able to bring in some of her office colleagues and some friends also came with their friends. Immediately we entered the dark room, they all screamed, ‘Surpriiiise!!!”
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She was moved to tears. She couldn’t believe the faces she was seeing. She couldn’t believe I could plan all that at her blind spot. She whispered, “See how you’ve made me mess up my makeup.”
Before she could clear the tears off her face, I got down on my knee and pulled the ring, everyone screamed. She turned back to see me kneeling. She was like “Oh no. Oh No…don’t do this to me, Mark.” Everyone screamed, “Say yes…Say yes.” And she did. We hugged and I lifted her off the ground. She was still in tears.
I thought I’d made her night. I thought I’d made her feel special. I thought she was going to say, “This is the best birthday ever.” When the dust settled, she told me, “So you did all that as a surprise?” I answered, “No, I’m serious. A lot of thought went into it. I won’t stand in front of everyone and joke about something like this. I want us to get married and I’m ready to initiate the process.”
She took a step backwards and told me, “I said yes because I thought it was a joke—something to flavour the night. No, we can’t get married. It’s only six months…” I retorted, “It’s eight months.” She chirped, “Even that is not enough time to decide. What do you have? Or you don’t understand marriage? No, we can’t do that.”
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So I asked, “When can we do it then?” She answered, “I will tell you when I’m ready.”
The relationship took a blow in the chin but I was determined to keep it going. She withdrew somehow but I leaned in, showing more commitment. A year later, we are still where we are. No marriage plans and no more fun in the relationship. The last time we talked about it she said, “Don’t push me. Marriage is not done with force.”
I’m not forcing her. I just want to know the future of us. Should I cut my losses and fold my tent on the relationship? I feel she’s not being fair or she doesn’t want me as a husband. Should I keep waiting? What should be the next move for me?
